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My eldest child had barriers to school that prevented him attending school for several years. It was a really difficult time, not because my child's anxiety (among other things) prevented them from attending school, but because my unrecognised (by me or anyone) autism affected my coping strategies, and because of the pressure I felt from all angles to get them in and engaged at any cost.

Regrettably, the pressure I felt transferred directly to my young person. If I could turn back time, knowing what I know now about myself, about our rights and about my child, I'd do everything differently. I'd have refused to send my child in. I would not have bowed to the pressure. I would have recognised I was autistic and found strategies to help me cope.

In September my child started a specialist placement and has attended every day since starting there, but this morning he didn't want to go and I recognised immediately that I was having a trauma response.

And then I remembered our rights, I remembered that if my child is too ill to attend, then that is okay. I calmed down.

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