Protective Measures

So true for our kids too..

We’d love to know what well being boundaries do you put around your kids and yourself to protect mental wellness?

On top of normal life stuff and what’s going on in the world, we know families often have specific challenges that on top they face.

Here are some of my top “Protective measures”.

For my family we like lots of time to engage in the things we love. For H it’s Tiktok and action. For L it’s chill time in her room. For S it’s Minecraft. For C it’s now friends time out and about. For me it’s lots of time to do my work. Work for me is relaxing and always has been. I’m calmest when I’m productive. So I always make sure I have things to do in my down time. I always make sure that every day includes lots of what the kids love too.

I let my kids eat basically what they want and when they need it. I make meals but I don’t watch what they eat. Sometimes they eat more than an elephant, sometimes like an ant.

I let my kids wear what they choose at all times (except some minor really important times and also annoyingly school uniform )There clothes are easy to get to for them and the older two just manage this themselves. Some of my kids want designer gear. Some want to dress more freely. There are no rules.

I don’t set up appointments or nights out or dinner parties unless I know the people I’m inviting or meeting don’t mind if I cancel, and would understand my behaviour. Sometimes I’m hyped. Sometimes I’m Super quiet. My closest friends know I’m unreliable and they don’t mind. I’m

Sure they always organise other stuff just in case. My best friend always says “I never believe you are coming till I see your face”.

I don’t put my kids in situations where being their true selves puts them in danger. So we do go and try new experiences, but only ones I have pre-qualified as being safe. All 4 of my kids need different things for safety and mental wellness.

Anyone who comments on my child.. like, you are too old for a dummy or they must do this or that.. I put them straight, in front of my child so they know I always have their back.

I always tell the truth. It’s always age appropriate, but if my kids need to know something, about ANYTHING, I will tell them the truth.

I am low demand in my parenting, naturally at all times. I tell my kids that’s what I will be like. I explain when we go to new places what my care looks like in a practical sense. I also have a code word with them, so we all know that if I ever say that, the low demand needs to stop and they must follow my exact instructions because we are in danger if they don’t.

We move when we need to. We regulate. We also respect each other’s personal space. I have 3 kids who like space and 1 who loves constant access to people. He has constant access to me physically but knows the others he has to ask. It’s hard on me but I find by me being more controlled by my Pdaer, and the PDAers when I do respite, they are more regulated and we are all happier. As a pdaer myself I find it easier to be controlled when I’m role play. So we spend lots of time being spy’s and playing different games. I’m the hotel staff member and they are the guests etc.

It works for us. What works for you?

If your go to’s are in your head. Get them down on paper. It feels good to know that you do have some tactics. Even when life feels manic and like your winging it. I bet you are not.