Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is so important. It’s all we have in the fight against gaslighting.

(Gaslighting basically means people trying to make you believe things that are not true.. )

When someone chooses to gaslight try this quick check list before making your next move….

-Is what they have said true? (Just use this to help remind yourself they are lying. If you are not sure, ask trusted people around you.)

-Do I have any evidence to disprove their attack?

-Am I in the right emotional state to respond?

-Do I need to respond or is it better to stop communication?

You don’t have to respond straight away when people do or say things.

Step away. Breathe and process. Gather evidence and then respond in writing in a professional and factual way if you need to.

Always re-read emails and texts etc. Never attack back. Just focus on the future for your family and getting the outcome you need.

When people gaslight you in person, it’s ok to just say.. I don’t agree.. or.. We clearly see things very differently.. or… that’s certainly not my truth..or that’s definitely not what happened.

Don’t defend or respond to toxic people unless you have decided it’s worth your energy. In my experience many people who gaslight just do it for their own stimulation. Don’t respond and they often slope off.

Finally if the attack is persistent and from a professional, don’t respond to them, respond to their manager with a complaint.