Sharing is the First Step

Now having a coffee before an IKEA trip with my 12yr old and then decorating a room for me to do my work in and have as a chill space.

I feel so grateful today to my parents Elaine and Bill Cain for stepping in and stepping up when I need them. Quietly and calmly over the years they have co-parented my 4 children as a team. Being respectful of my decisions, supporting me, firefighting and at times completely taking over.

I’m not ashamed to say that having 4 amazing children who are all magical and challenging in their own ways, and being an Autistic adult with attention differences, and lived trauma, means I cannot thrive alone. I cannot make every decision. I cannot be the 1:1 for everyone, earn a living, build my business, plan our joy.

If your child needs support in education or if you need support in your home or work, do not be ashamed to fight for that help. Help your child see that needing support is not a bad thing, show them your weakness.

By asking for and accepting help ourselves, we show our children what a joyful life it can be when we reach out.

My life was incredibly secretive from 13-35yrs of age. I lived all that time (and prior I just don’t remember) masking and coping and lying and making myself vulnerable to users and predators. I experienced joy, but within a back drop of extreme anxiety, self loathing and fear.

Now I hear my son who is 6yrs old say the things out loud that I felt and said in my head. My family were loving and caring, but at that time in education and society, there didn’t seem to be space made for children to share their pain.

I make space for my kids. Loads of it. Maybe some parents or outsiders might think it’s too much, but the more my kids reach out or share their anger or sadness. The better job I know I’m doing.

Learning to reach out has been life changing for me and I couldn’t feel more positive about the support I’m getting from people who love me when I’m honest and open about my difficulties.

Do one tiny thing today to show yourself

Our seND Family Instincts inbox is always open. If just need to say those first words.. “this is too hard” or “I can’t do this”. Do it.

Sharing is the first step