They are Fine once you have left.
Have you ever heard that a child experiencing abuse may;
Make themselves small, Try to be invisible, Freeze, Conserve energy...
Imagine you are suffering abuse and a police person is in the room.. you would scream and shout for help. You have a chance!!
Then imagine they leave and you are alone.. what would you do? Keep shouting? Or would you make yourself small? Try to go unnoticed? Maybe even hide or run away? Disassociate?
Why is is so hard to realise that “Being fine means consistently emotionally well”. It is not a point in time, based on one persons opinion of another’s surface level behaviour.
If I’m sad but you don’t see me cry, does that mean I’m happy? OK? Nothing wrong...
When a child goes into freeze mode as their parent leaves them at school, and they become small and meek and compliant, this does not mean they are fine.
When that child then explodes once they are behind closed doors and with their safe person, it does not mean they are fine.
Just because a professional/teacher/ta/friend/Dr doesn’t see the fear and trauma. It does not mean that it doesn’t exist.
It just means they possibly are not seen as a safe enough person for that child to share, or that they are not trained well enough to notice.
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