On holiday...

Please share in the comments any experiences you want to.. This is a safe space to share your challenges and successes..

(Trigger Warning; I am talking about my family and kids here. I know that for some people it is seen as not appropriate to speak about a child's struggles or a families challenges as it can feel disrespectful or lacking consent.. BUT, my kids give me consent for my posts and photos, and we all feel as a family that it is absolutely key to talk about what we go through..The more we all share our experiences, the more we can build societies knowledge about what we do and why we do it..Also the less shame there is. It is not some dirty secret to be Autistic or experience the world differently due to any type of SEND...)

A holiday is not a holiday with a PDAer. It’s just really a change of scene. I’m talking about myself and my kids.

It’s nice for me to not have to cook and clean.. but honestly I have a sadness constantly too, about how hard it is for us, in comparison to people I see around us, and how hard it is for my son in particular who is 6.

We are having fun here, but it’s far from relaxing.

I’ve had to tell numerous people my son is Autistic as he has quite explicit language and can be very explosive. He is proud to be autistic, so that does help.

He also has a dummy most of the time, and that’s helpful too as people seem to realise his needs more as it’s an unusual age to still have a dummy I suppose.

In public I almost feel like the dummy helps, as I know lots of Autistic children and adults have completely hidden needs, and that can be so difficult then to get the accommodations the require.

My son actually asked for a lanyard for the plane to the air staff and I won’t go into it but thank goodness the airline staff and passenger knew.

Now some people may question why I brought him away if he is so dysregulated, and honestly, he is not. He craves interest and activity due to his attention differences and sensory seeking. He is almost a clone of me. . Lucky guy.

This week was a pre-agreed time for me and 2 of my sons. I have split my 4 kids up for 2 weeks of the 7 in the summer, essentially to give them all a break from each other. Thank goodness for my very lovely parents.

Taking my 2 sons to Greece was actually a sort of easier option than trying to entertain my pdaer with attention different in my house for 7 days.

Autistic children who have ADHD are so constant in their need for stimulation but also so anxious of anything that happens. It’s just so hard being in that place. I know, I was one.

You crave adventure and interest and risk and change and stimulation, BUT you are also in a constant state of fear. It’s terrifying and scary and also sad as you feel such a failure for not achieving what you really want to most of the time.

I am around the pool and hotel and I see some parents look at me with pity, some in shock at my child’s behaviour and some in solidarity, seeing my struggle.

At the same time my son lights up the room. He is so fun and playful and so excited. Every day is his best day ever. A roller coaster is the best way to describe it.

This is why we must get the right support in place for our kids. We must make sure their needs are understood.

If your child is Autistic PDA and has ADHD or suspected ADHD, it’s such an interesting profile.

Whether you are entertaining your children at the moment in your house, or away on holiday, or if they are back at school.

We are here to help you get the right support. I post like this so you know, we really do get it.

Charlie posted last week about having to really pull back on everything and make it simple to support her family to regulate, whilst with my families needs, it mean we have to constantly be on full force, out and about. Stimulating and supporting behaviour.

Whatever camp you fall in. We get it.